Monday, September 1, 2014

Tim Finally Makes An All-Encompassing Diet Post!

In light of the upcoming nutrition challenge, and in the vein of trying to help our community navigate the confusing world that is nutrition, I've decided to work up a summary of two of the major "eating lifestyles" offered in and around the CrossFit community.  I sincerely hope you find this as informative as any other source of diet information anywhere else on the web.

The Zone Diet

We'll start here, since this seems to be the diet most heavily endorsed by the CrossFit corporation.  Like every other relationship in the history of business and life, we'll assume that they endorse it because at some point some money changed hands and now they have to.  The basic premise of the Zone Diet is that you eat Carbohydrates, Fat, and Protein at every meal.  (Dramatic pause for comedic effect .... )

Shut the front door!!! All of this time I've been getting my macro nutrients from tree bark and deep gulps of air! (photo source:, apparently)

Now of course there's much more to it.  You have to eat exactly the proper ratios of these nutrients in each and every meal of the day, which requires non-stop weighing and measuring.  You might wonder, is this absolutely necessary?  The answer is no, probably not.  But I think the basic idea behind it as that you start to become aware of exactly how much you're eating and in what proportions, and eventually start to see some results from the loss or increase in calories.  They also add in a bunch of made up science type stuff about your body and hormones and balance, all clinically tested and verified on lab mice (who have the exact same chemical make-up as you and I do I'm sure).

The poor guy on the left was ignorantly eating a diet composed of 41.3% carbohydrates, while the guy on the right stayed true at 40.0%. (photo source:

The Paleo Diet

Up until a few months ago, I would have considered myself somewhat of a follower of this diet, minus the malt liquor on Fridays, the whey protein every day, all that cheese, potatoes, and those weekend pizza binges. Oh and the beer.  And the tequila.  Okay, lets just move on.

The premise behind this diet is that eating more like our paleolithic ancestors will bring us abundant health, long lives, and 500 pound Front Squats.  From

"The Paleo Diet, the world’s healthiest diet, is based upon the fundamental concept that the optimal diet is the one to which we are genetically adapted. The therapeutic effect of The Paleo Diet is supported by both randomized controlled human trials and real-life success stories."

Can you literally smell the stench coming off that statement?  Gross.  A successful paleo diet is made up of meat, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and almost anything else that came out of the ground or a mother.  Unfortunately I fell into the trap for many years, believing that this was clearly the most scientifically sound diet plan because it's based on human evolution and what our bodies were (supposedly) designed to eat.  That all sounds really sexy until you start to dissect it:

1.) Nobody really knows what paleolithic people ate, and people that claim to are called "liars."
2.) Even if we did know how they ate, it's 100% impossible to replicate it in today's world.
3.) I've never seen any record of a paleolithic person snatching over 100 pounds, so why do I even give a sh*t what they ate?

No doubt he lifted, I mean LOOK at those quads.  But did they even have barbells back then bro? (photo source:

So there you have it.  I know the situation may seem dire, but there are some facts that you need to come to terms with before you can really start to make your diet decisions.  For instance in the time it's taken you to read this post, somewhere in Kazakhstan a vegetarian just clean and jerked 220 kilos (for the few Americans that read this blog, that's about 485 lbs or roughly the weight of a full-grown Eastern Lowland Gorilla).  Also you should note that at this very moment I have it on good authority that 14-time CrossFit Games Champion and generally agreed upon Sexiest Man On Earth Rich Froning is eating a bacon double cheeseburger in a garage in Tennessee.

If you look closely you'll see a spicy Tofu skewer sticking out of his back pocket (photo credit:  Hookgrip, Hookgrip, Hookgrip!)

The point I am so facetiously and long-windily trying to make is that diet, weight loss, strength gain, muscle gain, fat loss, blah blah blah ... it's all a big experiment and it's all individual.  And you have to treat it as such to be successful in the long term (unless of course you're just blindly lucky or genetically blessed - in which case you can just get off my website right now).  In all seriousness, both of the above diets (and most other "fads" out there) do have sound premises and ideas that can be taken away from them.  I'll try to summarize them for you to make life easy:

Zone:  Eat carbs, fat, and protein (AKA a balanced diet)
Paleo: Vegetables, meat, and other whole foods really are good for you, and basing your diet on processed crap and sugar is probably detrimental.

Try something different, test yourself in some way, make sure you give the change enough time, then retest.   Perhaps it's a miserable failure and you move on, or perhaps it changes your life in ways you never would have imagined.  Does that sound difficult??  Well it should, because it is extremely difficult.  It requires mass amounts of discipline, patience, and at times downright anal retentive borderline psychotic behavior (which some of us are much more accustomed to than others).

In the next post, I reveal the secret diet and workout regimen that allowed me to lose 40 pounds and gain a good amount of strength in my pale, lanky adolescence.  For real, it's going to blooooowwww your mind.

Spoiler alert:  rabbits were involved. (logo source:

09/02/2014 - WOD

A): Bench Press (3 x 10 at 70%)
B1): Handstand Push-ups (3 x Max Reps)
B2): Snatch Grip Deadlift (3x5 at 70% of Snatch 1RM)
** Pause at knees for 3 count

Metcon (Time)
21-15-9 reps for time of:
Hang Power Clean (115/75)
Thruster (115/75)

Core and Mobility
3 Rounds:
Hanging Leg Raises x 10 (strict)
Bird Dogs x 10 alternating

Sunday, August 31, 2014

A Lot Of Courage ...

Going down this weekend.  I encourage you to follow along on Facebook, where you can really get a sense for the fun, comradery, and intensity our BARx athletes are putting on display.  With a little help from a Games athlete of course.  That's always been our philosophy:  if you can't beat 'em, buy your way to victory by pumping up your donation box so we can replace Ed's bench press 1RM with Katie Hogan's.  One thing is for sure:  the photography taking place out there is some of the best we've seen since the New Year's Throwdown of '13.  Unfortunately I don't have time this morning to post all of the pictures, but here's a sample (check out the rest on the Book):

You see, a lot of people think photography is as easy as pointing the camera at something and shooting.  But there's so much more to it.  Shape, balance, coordination, and most importantly an image that will catch your eye from a hundred feet away.  Note the fundamental contrast of the bright blue of Steph's shirt against the rolling pale green hills in the background.

Reminder:  Holiday schedule tomorrow (Monday, September 1st).  Regular classes at 7,8, and 9.  Programming TBD, probably over cocktails tonight.

09/01/2014 - WOD

A): Front Squat (Find 5RM For Today)
B1): Front Squat (3 x 5 at 90% of Today's 5RM)
B2): Ring Dips (3 x Max Reps)
** Weighted dips if you can do 10+ unweighted

Nancy (Time)
5 Rounds for time of:
400m Run
15 Overhead Squats, 95# / 65#

Core and Mobility
3 Rounds:
10/leg: 1-leg RDLs with light Dumbbell
Max L-Sit

Friday, August 29, 2014

Our Unique Approach to Nutrition

It's 2:30 AM, and since I can't sleep I guess I will write.  So many thoughts racing through my head, the foremost of which is "why do I suck so terribly at sleeping?"  I used to be quite skilled at it back in my University days - sleeping 7 to 8 hours per night, napping (during the day whilst the sun was out!), and even sleeping in on the occasional Tuesday instead of whatever-the-hell else I was supposed to be doing.  Of course, back then I drank A LOT more and worried a lot less, because let's face it - when you're in college you really don't have $h*t to worry about.  Or at least you don't KNOW that you should be worried.  Maybe that's the key ... ignorance.

Just like you didn't know that this was a terrible idea.  Okay that's not true, but I'm trying not to be a bad influence on the kids (photo credit:

On that note (the note of ignorance if I lost you), BARx will be kicking off its very own nutrition challenge in a couple weeks.  I'll spare you the gory details, because I'm confident that by now you've been reached by one of our 17 social media outlets and know more than I do.  Also, details aren't really my concern since we have Rachel making these succinct flyers:

I finally found the website that she uses to make these, I think it's  Oh wait, no it's not, don't type that in your browser.

As the emails between us organizers started to pile up - all 26 of which Ed was copied on but none of which he responded to - it became quite apparent that the most contentious debate was going to be which diet we asked people to adhere to.  Hours later, after some useful and many not-so-useful thoughts, we finally arrived at the conclusion that none of us are equipped to disseminate dietary advice and guidelines to a group of our peers.  So the decision was made to leave all the answers as to what, where, when, why, and how much you should eat precisely where they belong:  the Internet.

Speaking of the internet, I stumbled on these the other day.  I think they're called "potatoes" or "po-tot-toes."  I don't know much about them, other than eating more than 3 in your lifetime will give you the 'betes. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The bottom line is this:  you're an adult and you can make your own damn diet decisions!  Nobody really knows anything anyway, and those that claim to do so probably already have your credit card in their hands.  Our plan is to provide you with an overwhelming amount of online resources and materials on several different diets, and it's up to you to decide what's best.  With that being said, we will still be tracking and measuring success in a very similar fashion to last year's challenge, only without the cost and the added "perks" ... You will simply mark clean or cheat based on the diet that you've chosen to adhere to for the duration of the contest (or more accurately, the rest of your life)

Everybody has some stupid things they've done in their lifetime that they'll never internally allow themselves to live down.  I have three, and this is one of them.

You may note that this is a unique and some might say revolutionary approach to the in-house gym nutrition challenge.  History will likely look back on us as pioneers who broke the shackles of a confining system to find a challenge that works for the all the people, regardless of dietary preferences.  Or it may look back on us and see us exactly as we are: lazy and non-committal.

So why should you be excited about this year's challenge?  For the same reasons I am!

1.) Since you're only going to be competing against other BARx'ers and not a population of thousands of paleo maniacs hopped up on the antler juice, you might actually have a chance of winning.

2.)  We control the scoring and are weighting it creatively to give everyone a chance to participate and make some serious gainz.  Except Rogers of course, because there ain't no way that guy is getting any sexier.

And most important of all ....

3.) SPREADSHEETS BABY!! That's right, I've been unleashed on the world of Google Docs and I'm in the process of creating all the online tracking, scoring, and stalking tools that you'll ever need.  I'm doing things that people who created Google Docs didn't even know could be done, and it's quite exhilarating.  If nothing else, you will certainly walk away from this competition with the ability to obsessively - nay, compulsively - enter every facet of your life into a spreadsheet minutes after you live it.  And that, my friends, is the greatest gift I could ever bestow upon you.

08/30/2014 - WOD

**Note:  No, the skills for Saturday are not typos, and yes, it's going to be fun
A): Back Squat (Find 3RM)
B): Back Squat (Find 2RM)
C): Back Squat (Find 1RM)

Metcon (Time)
For Time:
400 m run
30 paralette passthroughs
40 burpees
50 CTB Pullups
60 Box Jumps
70 Air Squats
80 OHWL (35/25)
400 m run
*break up the reps in the middle however you want

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

A Message From ...

BARx Tech Support.  Oh, you didn't know that we had a Tech Support Department?  Of course we do.  The department does however share a lot of responsibilities with the Accounting, Finance, Conflict Resolution, and Laundry Departments ... but we definitely have one.

Anyway, I've been told that some members are having issues with their Wodify App, specifically the feature where you stalk the AM classes for their WOD times while in a meeting at work.

Wodify:  because how else are you going to find out how many "futuristic" Toes to Bar Brooks did this morning?

If you are one that's having issues with the App, please delete the old one and go out to the App Store and download the new one.  If that doesn't work, try to CTRL-ALT-DELETE and reboot.  Otherwise you're out of luck.  And as a friendly reminder, please no Wodify stalking while driving ...

No laughing matter.  She had a head-on collision with the dishwasher and dented it, and now mom is super pissed.

08/28/2014 - WOD

A1): Power Clean (10 x 2 @ 80%)
** Alternate Cleans and Pull Ups on the minute for 20 minutes (10 sets of each)
A2): Pull-ups (10 x 4 Strict Pull Ups)
** Alternate Cleans and Pull Ups on the minute for 20 minutes (10 sets of each)

Metcon (Time)
For time:
KBS (70/53)
Knees to Elbows

Core and Mobility
3 Rounds:
L-hangs from bar - accumulate 1 minute
Med Ball Twists - 20 reps

Monday, August 25, 2014


Last Friday some of BARx participated in the latest internet sensation of pouring a bucket of ice water over your head in order to support charity.  Although if I understand the rules correctly, technically all of these people are participating in order to AVOID donating money to charity.  So you’re all a bunch of jerks.

How about Steinkamp side-stepping the bucket so none of it actually got on him?

I guess it worked though, because Steph decided we would donate all of our September drop-in fees to ALS.  Now we just have to start collecting drop-in fees …

All of this reminds me of another internet sensation from several years back.  It also involved icing … BRO-ICING that is.  I didn't quite understand this one either, but apparently one would hide a disgusting Smirnoff Ice somewhere to be discovered by another pour soul who was then obligated to chug the entire bottle on bent knee.  True story.  Look it up.

Now that’s a rough start to your morning ... or is it?

08/26/2014 - WOD

A): Bench Press (Find 3RM)
B1): Ring Dips (3 x Max Reps)
B2): Clean Pull (3x5 at 80% of Clean 1RM)

Metcon (Time)
8 DL (275/185)
400m run

Core and Mobility
3 Rounds:
L-Sit - accumulate 1 minute

Snatch Press in Squat - 8 reps with PVC or light barbell

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Just Kidding!!

Saturday 7 AM is back on!  Even the best of us make mistakes from time to time.  And I'm not too proud to admit it.  But really though, it's not my fault.  There's generally a system in place to keep me from making stupid decisions ... it's called "never letting Tim make any decisions."

I wasn't around when Sara received the news, but I imagine she was behind the wheel of a 1934 Rolls Royce Phantom Continental and it looked something like this. 

The good news is that I seem to have totally redeemed myself with the placement of the new Saturday Noon Open Gym time.  All the cool kids were there this week, and Scott showed up too.  It was such a hit that I'm thinking about entering all of my workout and leisure time activities into Wodify to see if they stick.

All Friday evening classes have now been replaced with a 6 hour block entitled "Happy Hour and yelling at the neighborhood kids for riding their bikes too fast."

08/25/2014 - WOD

A): Front Squat (Find 3RM For Today)
B1): Front Squat (4 x 3 at 90% of Today's 3RM)
B2): Handstand Holds (4 x As Long As Possible (1 minute Cap))

Metcon (Time)
7 db thrusters (35/25)
11 burpees

Core and Mobility
3 Rounds:
5/leg: Pistols to a box
8 Strict Hanging Leg Raise (to parallel)

Friday, August 22, 2014

The Doctor Is In ...

If you haven't noticed the sign up sheet on the board at the gym, on September 27th Jared Van Anne will be coming into BARx for "speed dating assessments" as Ed calls it.  Basically, it's 15 minutes of Jared telling you all the things that are wrong with you.  Well not ALL the things, because as I said, it's only 15 minutes.  So far the sign up list is conspicuously all female .... I wonder why that is.

Stock Photo of Jared.

If you need more motivation to sign up, I'm going to let the cat out of the bag:  Jared is the secret to Ed's success.  After months of arduous work, he has greatly improved Lampitt's mobility and positioning.  And if you're wondering why Ed still feels the need to catch his Snatches on his toes, he does that because it looks really cool, not because he has to.

Personally, I also paid Jared a visit when I was having trouble with my shoulder knees back ankles glutes just needed someone to gently touch my neck positioning.  He pretty much told me that I'm perfect and there's nothing he can do for me, and all of my injuries are the result of being just a little too awesome, too often.  But that's me.

Sign up before it's too late.

Stoobs grabbed the first spot with hopes of taking up the entire 2 hours.  Don't worry, we'll kick her out.

08/23/2014 - WOD

A): Back Squat (10 x 3 EMOM)
3 Reps EMOM at 65-70% of Back Squat 1RM

Metcon (Time)
Partner WOD for time
#1 run 400 m
#2 works on completing
100 Dips
100 Front Squats (95/65)
100 pullups
100 jump squats over bar