Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Getting Enough ...

I've had several conversations this past week with many different people about getting enough ... something (protein, carbs, total calories, etc).  I am blown away by this.  Now as my standard disclaimer goes, I'm no nutrition expert.  However, if there's one thing I am pretty damn good at, it's eating enough food.

As evidenced by the Jack in the Box taco binge of '05.  Just kidding, that wasn't me.  But I did watch the whole thing unfold and it was epic.

So to help you along your food journey, I've decided to list out some of my favorite ways to make my macronutrient goals for the day.  Some are old stand-bys, some are new, and some are revived from the dead, but they all work.  We'll start with ...


Bananas (Paleo = Yes)
Quick, easy, and there isn't a human being on Earth that doesn't like the taste.  For that matter, there isn't a monkey on Earth that doesn't like the taste.  And monkeys are WAY stronger than you.  I used to shy away from these because they are so sugary, but I also used to spend 15 minutes every morning spiking my hair straight up in the air.  You live and you learn.

Oatmeal (Paleo = No)
Remember oatmeal?? Yeah you do.  Again, very easy to make and 1 serving is anywhere from 30-40 grams of carbs.  Mix some strawberries and blueberries in there to make it even better and more carbilicious (seriously Google, that's not a word?).

Quaker is fine, but if you really want to get after it then I'd recommend the Steel Cut variety.  Why?  Because when things are cut with steel they are healthier, and you sound like more of a badass telling people about your breakfast.

Rice (Paleo = No)
Noticing a theme here?  Quick, easy, and a ton of carbs in one spot.  You can always mix in extra fats, sauces, and meat to have a complete meal in one place.  They even make some frozen versions with the veggies already mixed in, and since they're not Paleo you don't have to worry about using the microwave to cook them.

Sweet Potatoes (Paleo = Yes)
Hell yes.  Steam up a bunch of these on Sunday, or throw them in the oven.  Not necessarily easy to make but totally worth the pain.  Great for any snack or meal, and you can actually rub one on your chest to help alleviate cold symptoms during the harsh winter.

Greek Yogurt (Paleo = No)
I finally hopped on the bandwagon.  FYI, Bud Light Platinum was the number 2 selling new food product of 2012.  Number 1 ..... Chobani Greek Yogurt.  I know, I know, when everybody does something it's not cool anymore.  But everybody's doing CrossFit now and it's still cool.  Sorta.  Just give it a shot.  Easy carbs and a ton of protein to go with it.  Great after workouts.

This guy is Greek.  Greek Yogurt is Greek.  What more information do you need??

Apples (Paleo = Yes)
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."  Well, two apples a day and you can walk in and overhead squat that little pill-prescribing SOB.  If you're having trouble getting enough fat, slap some almond butter (paleo) or peanut butter (actually worth eating) on top and you're welcome for the most delicious snack of all time.

Tomorrow we''ll hit on some favorite protein sources ... spoiler alert, this post will involve breasts.

Big ones.

09/24/2014 - WOD

A): Deadlift (3 x 3 at 70%)
A2): Bent Over Row (3 x 8 Heavy Dumbbells)

Metcon (Time)
Partner 1 Mile sled pull, for time (155/110)
Metcon (AMRAP - Reps)
4 rounds for each movement
Russian twist with dumbbell
Get up sit up with dumbbell
Side plank with arm thread with dumbbell, right side
Side plank with arm thread with dumbbell, left side

Sunday, September 21, 2014


Finally, somebody does some work around BARx.  The wall ball corner has never looked better ... big thanks to Loren for the job well done.

It's not nearly as flashy, but he also smoothed out the bumps in the floor over by the platforms.  I'm not sure why they keep coming back, either our floor space is slowly shrinking over time or the rubber flooring is actually regenerating itself every time the weather shifts.

Also now that diet challenge is in full swing and week 1 is nearly complete, I'd like to congratulate the below people on being above 90% diet adherence so far.  Obviously we won't be able to announce a winner until the end when we add in body comp improvement and benchmark testing, but I plan to post up the diet leaders each week, mostly because it will give me something to do.

Either we have a lot of people who are very dedicated to this challenge, or a gym full of lying cheating bastards.  Either way, consider me proud.  And no, we won't allow Maggie or Steph to win.

The next list of people are those who have neglected to so much as log one hour's worth of diet, and therefore I can only assume haven't even looked at my super-sweet spreadsheet and don't care about being a part of the awesome scoring system I've slaved so hard to put together.  No that's a joke, truthfully it wasn't that hard ... the most difficult part was spelling Larisa's last name.

Roberta's was no picnic either.

Please know that if you're on the above list, you've hurt my feelings greatly, and I leave you with a picture of what I look like on the inside right now to hopefully motivate you to log in next week.

09/22/2014 - WOD

A): Back Squat (3 x 3 at 70%)
B1): Weighted Step-ups (3 x 20 Alternating)
** Hold a pair of dumbbells at your side
B2): Power Clean (Warm Up to WOD weight (135/95))

Metcon (AMRAP - Rounds and Reps)
Death by PowerCleans 135/95
with a 15 minute running clock perform 1 power clean on the first minute, 2 on the second minute etc. increasing by 1 each minute.  When you fail to complete a round switch to 10 burpees every minute for remaining time.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014


And we’re back from Colorado.  Somehow the planes managed to take off and land safely, which never ceases to blow my mind.  At one point we even flew through some clouds … I didn't know planes could do that.  We did get to visit CrossFit Sanitas in Boulder and they receive the nod of approval from me, mainly due to their huge facility and the fact that they had no issue with me lifting in the corner by myself.

Also the view was okay, but I much prefer the scenic overlook of my south county patio complete with the neighbors dirty, rusted, and collapsed above-ground pool.

Now that I’m home, rest assured that I am diligently working on your spreadsheet requests and will process them in the order they were received.  I would however like to state that if your name wasn't on the original list from the gym board and you haven’t contacted me, then I literally have no possible way of knowing what you want.  And if you have some sort of telepathic E.T.-like power and you've been communicating with me that way, I’m not getting the message.

And even if I was, I make it a point not to listen to the voices in my head.

09/18/2014 - WOD

A): Overhead Squat (Find 3RM For Today)
B1): barbell rollouts (3 x 10)
B2): Pull-ups (3 x Max Reps)

Baseline (Time)
500 m row
40 air squats
30 sit ups
20 push ups
10 pull ups
** Testing is part of the 8 Week Nutrition Challenge **

Friday, September 12, 2014


All of the nutrition challenge participants should have received an email sometime today with a link to their challenge spreadsheet.  On the very small chance that I made some sort of error, perhaps forgot to send you a link, or sent you someone else's link, or just sent you a hilarious kitten picture, please let me know and I'll make sure to right the situation.

This is exactly how you need to be over the next 8 weeks:  freakin' dialed in.

I'm pretty confident that I didn't make any major mistakes during my early morning email session, which was fueled by a gallon of black coffee and a banana.  However, the afternoon email session (and this blog post) were fueled by beverages that have a slightly more dulling effect on the senses ...

Oh, and Nutter Butters.  Also fueled by Nutter Butters.

I've already received several questions about "what diet should I be following?"  I feel like I made it abundantly clear that we don't care.  Follow whatever your heart desires.  Google it up, or better yet scroll back through the last two weeks of me ranting about all kinds of diet BS to see what your choices are (yes you have to dig deep, but underneath all of the sarcasm and stupid animal pics there is some occasional useful information).

Personally I've decided to go with the Flexible Dieting approach, which is all the rage on the Googles right now.

Actual chart from http://healthyeater.com/flexible-dieting that shows how much Flexible Dieting has been Googled recently.  Go ahead and add one more to that for me Googling to find the chart ... although I spelled dieting "dieteing."  Does that count?

For those of you who don't want to check the site, let me give you a run-down of what flexible dieting looks like.  This is how it's shaken out for me today:

Breakfast:  3 Eggs, chicken sausage, a Banana, the aforementioned 8 cups of black coffee, spinach, potatoes, and a little coconut oil.

Lunch:  Rice and bean bowl, with extra chicken and sliced peppers

Snack:  4 Nutter Butters and 8 oz of Jim Beam

Dinner:  I don't know, probably some salmon, carrots, and a smoothie.

Did you catch the flexible part?  Good.  I don't know who invented this, but I do know that I didn't have to give them any money for it (although I gladly would) and that it's definitely the best invention since sliced bread ... which by the way, I can totally eat if I want.

And I do want.  I really do.  (Photo credit:  JimmyJohns.com)

09/13/2014 - WOD

A): Back Squat (5 x 5 at 70-75%)
Metcon (Time)

Partner WOD for Time

400m overhead carry (20/14)
100 TTB
200m overhead carry
100 box jumps (24/20)
200m overhead carry
100 db walking lunges (35/25)
400m overhead carry
*One partner works at a time
*Overhead carry done together, one partner holds ball overhead.  Every time partners switch the pair does 3 burpees together when they return to gym before going on to next movement

Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Nutritionally Challenged

When I signed on to help with this thing, I assumed that roughly 10 to 20 people would sign up.  As of right now there are 40 people on the list.  I’m going to be perfectly honest with all of you:  until yesterday, I didn’t know we had 40 members.

As the old saying goes, I was more surprised than a squirrel eating an ice cream cone.  Shout out to Abby for providing the pics for today’s post.

The good news is there are a lot of couples on the list.  That’s important because you’re going to need the support as you try to cut back … or in some cases PILE ON the calories.  Yes that’s right, for some of us this nutrition challenge is going to be all about eating MORE in order to support our asinine exercise habits.  My fiancĂ© asked me the other day what would happen if this new strategy doesn't work.  I responded “we’ll probably get really fat.”

This is what we look like in the morning, except the grass is replaced by a partial Rx Bar that I left on my pillowcase the night before.

Unfortunately (and for those of you that know me well I do mean UNFORTUNATELY) I am going on vacation for the next few days.  My hope is to get all 7 Billion spreadsheets completed and a link emailed out to each individual throughout the evening tonight and the day tomorrow.  So watch your email for that excitement.  Hopefully the sheet is pretty self explanatory, but please feel free to send any questions you may have directly to me … I’d love the opportunity to berate you with sarcasm.

I'll also make sure to post up all of the nutrition challenge WODs and the planned days of the week before I leave.  Good Luck!

What did you think Stoobs drove to the gym when the Stubaroo is in the shop for repairs?

09/12/2014 - WOD

A): Bench Press (Find 5RM For Today)
B1): Ring Dips (3 x Max Reps)
** Advanced: work on Muscle Ups
B2): 1-Arm Dumbbell Bent Row (3 x 10/arm)

Metcon (Time)
Double Unders
Push Press (95/65)

Core and Mobility
3 Rounds of:
Side Planks: 30 seconds per side
15 Weighted Sit Ups

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Unfortunately ...

Rachel didn't have any stock photos of Brian with his arms in the air to use for this graphic.  Probably because he doesn't just put them overhead at will ... such things require at least an hour of proper warm up.

It's important to me that you know I did not create this.  I'm much better at photo-shopping than Rachel (example:  the Stubaroo)

Even though I posted her graphic, it doesn't necessarily mean that I agree with the message.  I prefer to think that every time you catch a snatch in the bottom, and angel gets its wings.  But maybe that's just me.

09/11/2014 - WOD

A): 1 Clean Pull + 1 Hang Clean + 1 Jerk (Find Max for complex)
B1): Handstand Push-ups (3 x Max)
B2): Toes-To-Bar (3 x Max Reps)

Metcon (Time)
3 Rounds for Time (135/95)
12 DL
6 Front Squat
3 Jerks

Core and Mobility
Ring Plank Hold - Accumulate 1 Minute
Turkish Get Up - 2/side (Kettlebell or Dumbbell)

Monday, September 8, 2014

Important Reminder!

For those of you who have forgotten, or for any new members who've joined in the last (what feels like) 6 weeks and haven't met her, this is what Steph looks like:

I hear she's working on a 4 volume chronicle of her World Travels entitled "My Never Ending European Vacation That Forced Tim and Ed to Do Stuff and Make Decisions."

No but really, the important reminder is that tomorrow is the last day to get your measurements in and get signed up for the nutrition challenge.  You won't want to miss out on the spreadsheet that you'll be getting as part of it.  Also I would highly recommend that everyone download the MyFitnessPal App or something similar to help you track what you're eating.  I've been using it for the last 5 days and I absolutely love the high level of obsession it allows you to maintain over your diet.  I'm not sure I'd be able to shovel down 400 grams of carbs a day without it.

No, if every day were like today I'd delete this stupid app and go back to the legal pad tracking method, where beer is "calorie free."

09/08/2014 - Monday

A): 1 Clean + 2 Front Squats (EMOM for 15 Minutes)
** Starting point for weight: about 60% of Front Squat 1RM.  Use a weight that you can handle well for the full 15 minutes.

Metcon (AMRAP - Rounds and Reps)
8 minute amrap
3 dumbbell burpees
5 dumbbell row (planked out, 5 rows on each side, no pushup)
7 dumbbell thrusters

Core and Mobility
3 Rounds:
Ring Support Holds - Accumulate 1 minute
Good Mornings - 3 x 10 (Light barbell on back)

09/09/2014 - Tuesday

A): Push Press (Find 3RM For Today)
B1): Bench Press (Dumbbells!  3x15 (Heaviest Possible))
B2): Pull-ups (3 x Max Reps)

Metcon (Time)
Wallballs (20/14)
Weighted sit-ups (20/14)

Core and Mobility
10 Strict Hanging Leg Raise (to 90 degrees)
10 Press in Squat (Snatch Grip, light barbell or PVC)